About
Who we are
Suicide Bereavement Support (SBS) was established in 2019 by the same people who provided the SOBS Cumbria service since 2010. We run a volunteer-led service and our volunteers come from all walks of life and have all been touched by suicide themselves, an experience which enables them to connect with others. We have a number of volunteers in Cumbria and the two primary points of contact are John Purdie and Karan Smith.
Our aim has always been to provide a platform for people to find support in whatever form works for them. This may be reading the information on this website or by coming to one of our group meetings or through our closed Facebook group or by occasional email or phone contact. The choice is yours; the main thing is to do what feels right for you at any point in time and that will change frequently especially in the early years.
PLEASE NOTE: Due to various pressures and personal circumstances, it is no longer possible to run the organisation on this voluntary basis and it has been decided by the Trustees that the charity is to be wound up over the coming months, finally closing at the end of June 2024. The full announcement (dated 4 September 2023) is in our Blog and please be assured that we will continue to support, to make connections and to signpost to other organisations in the months ahead. If you are bereaved by suicide and have any questions about our future, please email us via hello@sbs.org.uk. Thank you.
Emily Griffiths
Emily Griffiths (right, pictured with one of her daughters) was one of the facilitators for the Barrow-in-Furness and Kendal groups and she took over from John Brown as Chair of SBS Cumbria in November 2022. Her partner and father to her four children, who were then all teenagers, took his own life just before Christmas in 2008. Although they had been separated, Emily found herself winding up her partner’s business, trying to support her children and continue working as a nurse; she admits to, in some ways, delaying her own grief for 18 months. It was at this point she contacted the bereavement support group and, from her own experience, feels the benefits of being with others where ‘it’s OK not to be OK’ were significant. Thanks to the help she found in this way, she is keen to invite others to the groups - or to simply make contact - to share what can be a difficult path with them to a different life without their loved one. Emily can be contacted by email at emilysbsbarrow@gmail.com.
John Brown
John was the Chair of Suicide Bereavement Support (SBS) to November 2022 and he continues as a Trustee. Having worked in health and social care throughout his working life and having lost his father to suicide, he was a founder member of Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) Cumbria in 2010. Working with many people who have been bereaved, John is certain that self-help support can be massively beneficial for people who suddenly find themselves utterly devastated by loss through suicide. John’s strong advice based on years of meeting and listening to people who have been bereaved through the loss of a family member, friend or work colleague etc is to make contact and see if this helps.
Amber Cropley
Amber lives in Kendal and is a facilitator for the Kendal group with Emily and Kitty. She lost her dad to suicide and first attended the SBS group in Barrow two years ago, shortly after his death. When she moved to Kendal, Amber felt the need for a group there and she is keen to support others who have been bereaved by suicide.
“The open and safe environment with others who are also bereaved and understand what you are going through really helped me with my grief. I wanted to get involved with SBS to let people who have lost loved ones to suicide know that they are not alone.”
Amber is a trained suicide first aider and she works in finance for her day job.
Karan Smith
Karan facilitates the West Cumbria group in Whitehaven. She lost her son in 2010, when he was 21 years old, and first attended SOBS meetings over two years ago when they were held in Keswick. Karan, who works at Sellafield, is keen to run an effective group; "We feel so passionate about supporting people bereaved in this way and the importance of talking and sharing our experiences around suicide, particularly in West Cumbria. Volunteering within the local counselling community and working with the Howgill Family Centre supporting bereaved children and their families has given me valuable skills for supporting the group and its members." Together with her sister, bank manager Joanne Redmond, who fundraises tirelessly for the local community, and her daughter, Hayley Holliday, who works at West Cumberland A&E, Karan’s family work relentlessly to ensure that SBS has a presence in West Cumbria. Karan can be contacted by phone on 07896 703 757 or at hello@sbs.org.uk.
Sharon Tweedie
Sharon facilitated the Carlisle group alongside John Purdie. Sharon, from Carlisle, lost her husband Steve, to suicide 25 years ago at the age of 30. At this time, both nationally and locally, support for families bereaved by suicide was difficult to access. “Suicide is a unique bereavement and a loss like no other,” says Sharon. “At the time of Steve’s death, there was no-one I could talk to who fully understood the complexities of the range of emotions associated with losing a loved one in this way. I remember the sense of complete loneliness and isolation. Over the years since Steve’s death, I have made a new life for myself and our daughter and this was motivating factor in my wish to be involved with SBS.
“From experience, I passionately believe that allowing those bereaved by suicide the space and time to talk to those who fully understand the journey they have been forced to take is hugely important and can play a vital part in helping them with their grief and loss. I have witnessed on a monthly basis the comfort and solace that is brought to the bereaved families in providing a safe place for them to talk or to listen.”
Kitty Birtwistle
Kitty lives in Ulverston and was a facilitator for the Barrow-in-Furness SBS group alongside Emily Griffiths. Having worked as a fitness instructor for 17 years, Kitty is now working in a local wine bar whilst looking for work in the mental health sector. Kitty lost her cousin’s wife in late 2018, followed by her Dad in early 2019, both to suicide. The Barrow SBS group was just getting started when she found it online and she attended their second meeting. “I found it was so helpful to talk to people who shared the same kind of grief as me,” Kitty said. “I didn’t think anyone would ever understand my pain and the feelings of ‘what if’ I was left with. The people I met at the group have become good friends for me too.”
Kitty has completed a Suicide Intervention First Aid course and believes that there is hope for anyone feeling suicidal. She wants others who have lost loved ones to suicide to know that they are not alone and that SBS is here to listen and help.
Why we exist
Each year in the UK, more than 6,000 people take their own life – each suicide has a devastating and lasting impact on their families, friends and communities. In Cumbria, we lose the equivalent of one person to suicide each week.
Faced with a sudden, often unexpected and sometimes violent death, people who have been bereaved experience a complex grief which typically includes strong feelings of guilt, self-reproach and questioning – “why?”. Discomfort, shame and stigma associated with suicide can make it difficult to talk about. There may be further complexities not common to 'normal' bereavements e.g. inquests, media coverage, trauma reactions and difficult family relationships.
Those bereaved by suicide often feel isolated at a time when they are hurting, suffering mental anguish and are vulnerable themselves to thoughts of suicide. Even those fortunate enough to have strong support networks can still feel alone, unable to share their true feelings for fear of their impact on others, particularly when they are also in a caring role for others who are bereaved.
There are thousands of people in Cumbria who have been deeply affected by suicide. The emotional, quality of life and financial impacts are long lasting and wide reaching. It is a major public health issue.
We were set up to meet the needs and break the isolation experienced by those bereaved by suicide. We are a self-help organisation and we have always aimed to provide a safe, confidential environment in which bereaved people could share their experiences and feelings, so giving and gaining support from each other. We have also strived to improve public awareness and maintain contacts with many other statutory and voluntary organisations.
Those needs are still there but, as a small group of volunteers, we have made the decision to wind down as an independent charity. We want to pass on the baton of support for those bereaved by suicide to other organisations who share our aims and focus and who have the resources and back up in place to look after those volunteering their time and emotional energy to supporting others.
Who we work with
Suicide Bereavement Support is represented on the Cumbria Suicide Prevention Leadership Group, which includes representatives from Cumbria Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, Cumbria County Council (now Westmorland and Furness and Cumberland Councils), Cumbria Clinical Commissioning Group, Cumbria Constabulary, University of Cumbria, Cumbria Probation Trust, Every Life Matters, Samaritans, Mind and Unity. We will be working with these partners, and others, in the months ahead of our closure, planned for end of June 2024, to ensure continued support for all those across Cumbria and surrounding areas who have been involved with SBS.
How we are funded
We have relied on the generosity of the public, charitable trusts and other organisations to fund our work. We would like to thank everyone who has contributed to our charity – every donation, small and large has been welcomed and put to good use, helping to break the isolation and relieve the distress felt by those bereaved by suicide. Since we moved from SOBS (a national charity) to SBS, we have guaranteed that all funds are spent in Cumbria and the surrounding areas. This was important to us and those we support and was the primary reason for the change and we hope that we will be able to continue this focus via other organisations after June 2024.
Raising the funds to continue our work has been a constant challenge but we’d like to thank everyone who has contributed in any way. Monies in our accounts will continue to be spent in the coming months to fulfil our aims, as always. The Trustees will then ensure, after the end of June 2024, that any remaining funds are transferred elsewhere to be used locally to support those bereaved by suicide in future too.